HollowMan (hollowman) wrote,
HollowMan
hollowman

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Facebook posts July 2009 (+commentary)

You know how they say infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters could write shakespeare? Well, 4 monkeys with a bottle of cheap wine could write the website of my dental plan, and probably do a better job of it.
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A woman today came into my work, fixed me with a challenging stare, and said "Do you know Molly is a slavic name?" After saying no, she stared a few seconds longer and said "Do you know why I ask?" And no, I did not - an explanation was EXACTLY what I needed at that moment. She leaned into me and whispered, with a conspirational savagery, "Russian roomates are very HIP these days."

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Generally, my "if you buy it, I will drink it" approach ultimately results in a limited amount of alcohol consumed on any given outing. However, I have rarely been presented with so driven a source as my latest accompaniment, for whom money was apparently no object in their quest to...

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There are krispy kremes here! In my room! Thank you, mysterious benefactor!


COMMENTARY ON JULY 2009-

Did you know that facebook does not save anything under the cutoff for long posts? I recreated what I could recall of the end of the "Molly" conversation, but I have left the story of my drunken rampage unfinished - it is up to you to decide how I got from a bar, being plied with drinks, to having free, unknown krispy kremes on the same evening.

Clearly, July is better than the prior months. Look at the good spirit I was in! The sly wit, the clever turns! My irritable amusement with the worlds rubbish! I found free donuts in my room! Everyone who saw my evening of drunkeness was greatly amused, and I, by drinking copious amounts of water, avoided a hangover. I remember Heather grabbing some random girl off the floor, shoving her at me, and essentially demanding we begin dating on the spot. We did not do this thing. I knocked a full glass of something over, and examined it quizzically. I was flashed. A girl vomited in my toilet, and then began shouting for help.

These are the things I remember in July.
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