HollowMan (hollowman) wrote,

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Facebook posts July 2009 (+commentary)

You know how they say infinite monkeys with infinite typewriters could write shakespeare? Well, 4 monkeys with a bottle of cheap wine could write the website of my dental plan, and probably do a better job of it.

A woman today came into my work, fixed me with a challenging stare, and said "Do you know Molly is a slavic name?" After saying no, she stared a few seconds longer and said "Do you know why I ask?" And no, I did not - an explanation was EXACTLY what I needed at that moment. She leaned into me and whispered, with a conspirational savagery, "Russian roomates are very HIP these days."


Generally, my "if you buy it, I will drink it" approach ultimately results in a limited amount of alcohol consumed on any given outing. However, I have rarely been presented with so driven a source as my latest accompaniment, for whom money was apparently no object in their quest to...


There are krispy kremes here! In my room! Thank you, mysterious benefactor!


Did you know that facebook does not save anything under the cutoff for long posts? I recreated what I could recall of the end of the "Molly" conversation, but I have left the story of my drunken rampage unfinished - it is up to you to decide how I got from a bar, being plied with drinks, to having free, unknown krispy kremes on the same evening.

Clearly, July is better than the prior months. Look at the good spirit I was in! The sly wit, the clever turns! My irritable amusement with the worlds rubbish! I found free donuts in my room! Everyone who saw my evening of drunkeness was greatly amused, and I, by drinking copious amounts of water, avoided a hangover. I remember Heather grabbing some random girl off the floor, shoving her at me, and essentially demanding we begin dating on the spot. We did not do this thing. I knocked a full glass of something over, and examined it quizzically. I was flashed. A girl vomited in my toilet, and then began shouting for help.

These are the things I remember in July.
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